


Tit For Tat

by quiet__tiger



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Joker loves Batman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-10-19 17:35:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10644753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quiet__tiger/pseuds/quiet__tiger
Summary: Joker likes what he has in common with Batman. Batman doesn't.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: "Killer or Hero."
> 
> Originally posted to Livejournal Jun. 9th, 2008.

“Come on, Batsy. Don’t you want to stay for coffee? Tea? _Me_?” Joker batted his eyelashes at Batman as he waited for his response.

Batman just slammed the door to his cell shut. Again. Joker was getting used to this pattern repeated tonight: crime spree, a fight with Batman, Batman locks him up in Arkham. Joker almost enjoyed it. At least he got to see Batsy, have him touch him.

“Oh, come on, Batsy. Don’t you want to play anymore?” Joker slinked up to the door as best he could in the new straitjacket, and gazed at Batman through the bars on the little window.

“I’m not _playing_ , Joker.” Batman glared at him somehow even with the lenses in his cowl obscuring his eyes. “I don’t play with murderers.”

Joker pouted at the Dark Knight. “ _Moi_ a murderer? Never!”

“What do you call those bodies you left around Gotham tonight?”

“Why, a trail for you to follow so you could find me! It’s like a treasure hunt!” Joker laughed, that bubbly kind that spilled out of him without his control.

Batman got as close to the bars as he could get without touching them as he growled, “You aren’t a prize, Joker. You’re algae that I have to clean up.”

Joker jerked his head back. “Algae? _Algae_? I’m a hero! I _can’t_ be algae!”

Batman practically spit at him, “You are _not_ a hero. You are a vile plague. Except instead of rats spreading you, you spread yourself everywhere. Death, pain, fear. _Everywhere_ you touch.”

Joker pushed up against the door again, and Batman stepped away. Joker frowned as best he could. He wanted Batman close, but he always got away except when he was hitting him or tying him up. “But I _am_ a hero, plagues and all! Without _me_ , there wouldn’t be _you_!” Joker tried to dance around his cell in his elation, but he was sure it only looked like deranged hopping due to the jacket binding his arms, not that that was bad, either. “We’ve talked about this before, Batsy. Without me, there’d be no you! And _you’re_ the big brave hero. You should _thank_ me!”

He danced back over to the door, where he could almost hear Batman’s teeth grinding in his strong, masculine, clenched jaw. “I believe, _Joker_ , that the argument is that _I_ created _you_.”

Joker let his eyes widen in joy. “Then that makes _you_ the killer! Everyone I’ve killed is on your hands!” He howled with laughter until tears ran out of his eyes.

Then he was slammed against the wall so hard he couldn’t breathe; his chest was frozen as he crumpled to the floor. Darkness filled his vision and he thought he was going to pass out, but then he realized it was just the Dark Knight standing over him. “Do. Not. _Ever_. Say. That. To me. Again. I am _not_ responsible for your actions. The only reason you’re still alive is _because_ I am not a killer.”

He grabbed the front of Joker’s straitjacket and lifted him until he was eye level and pressed him into the wall. It got Joker breathing again.

Almost close enough to kiss, if Joker dared, Batman hissed at him, “And I’d like to keep it that way.”

He smashed him into the wall once more then let Joker slip to the floor a final time. By the time Joker opened his eyes, Batman was gone and the door to his cell shut again and no doubt locked. He slithered across the floor to his cot, then pushed himself up into it.

He chuckled dryly, and when it stopped hurting, he whispered to himself, “You’ll never kill me, Batsy. The same way I could never get rid of you, no matter how much it looks like I try. We need each other. Heroes or villains, you and me, we’ll always be together.”

As he started plotting his next escape he cackled until his throat was sore. He couldn’t wait to see Batsy again, and hear what silly things came out of his mouth. “If he’s not responsible for me, then why does he clean up after me, ruin all my hard work?”

He brayed laughter again until an orderly showed up to tell him to be quiet. Him. He’d kill this orderly to get out when the time came. No one told him what to do and lived for long.

Except Batman.

That’s just the way things worked.


End file.
